Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Oh Romeo


While looking for that last video I posted, I found this montage of Romeo + Juliet scenes with Radiohead's Talk Show Host playing over it.  This movie was my sixth grade obsession.  I watched it as often as I could, went on Geocities (!) fan sites for it, and even remember YM magazine having these collectible Romeo + Juliet postcards and me trying to collect every single one of them.  I memorized all the lyrics to The Cardigans' "Lovefool", and I tried to model my narrator outfit for our Greek play after one of Claire Danes' Miu Miu Juliet gowns.  And then I went obsessive-stalker on Leonardo DiCaprio, and found out everything from how he got his name to his unattractive model girlfriend at the time.  I recall being disappointed upon discovery that he was a Scorpio because I'm a Gemini, and Scorpios + Geminis are supposed to have ill-compatibility*.  And I was even more saddened by the fact that he was 23 or something at the time, and I was only 12, as if the only thing preventing us from being together was our age difference.

And then time passed and Titanic happened, I grew up, he got all fat and my love affair with him ended.  I was a superficial teenager and had moved on to other boy wonders like Freddie Prinze Jr.  Sorry Leo.  However, amongst all the other Bop-tastic boys - from Devon Sawa (I'm embarrassed to even type that name) to Trent from Daria (yes, a cartoon), you will always hold a particularly special place in my heart.


*boyfriend now is a Scorpio, woops!  I defy you stars!
*Leo's ex-girlfriend, Bar Rafaeli, has the same exact birthday as me.  Same day, year.  I guess if I became a supermodel my 12-year-old dream could come true!

Your Crazy Kitten Smile

I'll drown my beliefs
To have you be in peace
I'll dress like your niece
And wash your swollen feet

Just don't leave
Don't leave

And true love waits
In haunted attics
And true love lives
On lollipops and crisps

Just don't leave
Don't leave

I'm not living, I'm just killing time
Your tiny hands, your crazy-kitten smile

Just don't leave
Don't leave

True Love Waits - Radiohead

I always forget about this song because it's much lesser known, but every time I rediscover it I fall in love with it all over again.  Everything about it is romantically perfect (except maybe the niece line).

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Buy me, buy me!


This is what the Maje and Sandro collections said to me as I approached their area at Bloomingdales today.  I would have gladly done so since I loved absolutely everything and had no idea they were carried at Bloomingdales, but I need a real jobby job first.  Only then will I be able to indulge in some Maje skinny leather pants, blush moto jacket, and fifty million other spring items that I needed so badly I had to leave to prevent any sort of impulse buying.

On a side note, the Maje shopping site leaves much to be desired.  I know it is new, but more than half of the obsessive-worthy things I saw in store are not even on the website.

Up next: job.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Food Phase #10


Note: I gave this title food phase #10, but I really don't know what number it is. I've had many.

I'm not sure if this is a normal thing for people, but I go through food phases. Usually these are junk food phases focused on one particular treat, not phases like eating mostly Italian or Mexican food. These phases are characterized by cravings for one particular food item for a number of weeks until I get too sick of them and/or too fat. And during these cravings, nothing else really satisfies and quenches my hunger except that specific item. Past food phases of mine include Hostess Ho-Hos, Hostess Powdered Donettes, Sour Patch Watermelon (while living in New York and encountering them at every newsstand and subway station), Magnolia Bakery banana pudding, Lays Limited Edition California Dill Pickle chips (these sound disgusting but were so delicious, please bring them back), Cadbury Crunchies, and many others I cannot remember at this late Sunday hour.

So my current craving is one that touches my Asianity. Weeks ago sometime in March while my momma was at the physical therapy place in Pomona, I had to pick up some Thai food for her at a nearby Thai restaurant. When I went to pay for the $6 order of wonton soup, I realized that there was a $10 minimum charge requirement. Since I only had a card, the nice lady at the counter said she could charge me for a Thai iced tea w/boba to make it $10. I agreed, and off I went. Once in my car, I took a sip of that Thai drank and was surprised at how much I enjoyed it. I'd had boba before so it shouldn't have been as surprising of an experience as it was. But for some reason I found it so very delightful.

And so it has become the craving of now. I often go to Volcano Tea here on Sawtelle, and wait in the long lines for an Almond Milk Tea w/ boba. It is delicious. If I'm at my parents' house, I go to a place called Juice Bar for my fix. I stopped at the Sawtelle location tonight on my way back from Temecula. I was wearing a "Pugs not Drugs" shirt, no bra, socks with ballet flats, and my bangs were going all sorts of ridiculous ways. My appearance was completely unacceptable, but I really wanted one and hadn't planned to stop anywhere on my way back to my apartment. The nice thing about Volcano Tea is that they're open super late (1a-2a) so I can go at all sorts of crazy hours.

I am glad this food phase is not as fattening as past phases. What's next? Perhaps something more savory? Some kind of new candy? A new Haagen Dazs flavor?

I will return with food phase #11 when it is known.


Currently listening: Pinback - Penelope
It's a lovely song, but I do think it's a lovely song about a... fish.

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Drive Fast


I had this on my tumblr because it really is more of a tumblr-type thing than a bloggy-type thing, but I loved it too much that I couldn't not post it here too.

P.S. I know I keep changing the design/name of this blog. I can't help it! I'm a Gemini and we are indecisive and fickle. I thought white would be a good update. It's refreshing.

Monday, April 09, 2012

California Dreams

Kate Moss (but of course)

Do you remember that show? The one on late Saturday mornings in the mid-90s? It came on after like Saved by the Bell: The New Class? I kind of miss it.

Back to topic. After spending last summer in a sweltering concrete jungle with just one brief escape to the Hamptons, I'm super excited for this California summer. I don't think I've been to a real beach in over a year, and my pasty thighs are begging for some UV damage!

I've already got plans to get a not-so-expensive bathing suit from VS, and some fun bronzing lotion stuff. I visited my friend Dagmar from high school this Easter weekend and noticed how tan she was. She recommended I use this Victoria's Secret BeachSexy shimmery bronzing lotion, so I'm anxious to get it and rub it all over my jiggly white thighs.

And once I get a job (hopefully ASAP!) and things become a bit more predictable and stable in my life, I'm planning on a return trip to NYC. I really need to visit my fave consignment shops on the UES and East Village, Comptoir des Cotonniers, and grub down on some Shake Shack. But most of my summer will be here in California. Boyfriend and I have plans to go to Newport Beach for a day or weekend since he got this spa coupon thing that includes a facial, a massage, and maybe some other relaxing treats. I've really missed my California summers. I act like I've missed several when it's just been one. But that's enough to do it!

Whenever I have some free time I need to fix my header, find out how to stretch my pictures to the width of the posts, and overall dedicate more time to this blog. I need to take more pictures, period. Posts aren't as interesting when they're just words, are they?

Until we meet again - (wish for sun and employment)

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Late Afternoon Post

I know I come off as kind of confused, lost about my career. In many ways, I am these things. I'm constantly debating the pros and cons of the two, and trying to figure out what I REALLY want in not only my career life, but my life LIFE as well, since the career part greatly affects my overall being. But in another way - a fantasy dreamworld way, where money is not an issue - I know exactly what I want to do/be.

But this is reality, and I live in it. And as nice as dreams are to have, they aren't always the most doable. Sure, I can suffer and face homelessness and complete bankruptcy, but would it pay off in the end? All the servers/actors do it, but do they ALL make it? No.

And then when/if you don't, what do you do?

Tuesday, March 06, 2012

Two weeks later

Mom is out of the ICU though still in the hospital, Piggie is back in town and fatter (and happier) than ever, and I can soon get back to some sort of normalcy (I hope).

Still stressed in other ways, but overall, things are looking up.

Photo taken last week while still in the ICU.

Friday, March 02, 2012

Exhaustion

Sitting in the dark and empty ICU waiting room at 2AM has left me feeling exhausted. It's not just physical. I'm exhausted in ways I didn't know were possible. It's all for a reason a million times worth it, but sitting here with my eyes half open is making me delusional. Is that a Monet on the wall and is it in 3d?

There isn't that much going on in my mind right now except my own personal troubles. Aside from the obvious, I'm worried about my professional life. I've never been so lost about it before. I have my pros and cons lists but my inner Gemini just can't decide. Fashion? Advertising? Something completely new? How? Is it worth it? What do I really want in life? Could I be happy with fashion as a hobby instead of a career? What is the most important factor I look for in a job? Why do I have so many questions and so few answers?

Attached please find a picture of my bleak 2am existence.

I'm sure I'll read this later under normal circumstances and hastily delete out of embarrassment. This no sleeping in the hospital thing may have turned me into an incoherent philosophical idiot.


Faith

And then it happens.

All the other aspects that plague my life on a daily basis suddenly become trivial. Perspective, I guess.

And I feel helpless. Overwhelmed by emotions never felt at such levels of extremity, I need something to believe in. We all do. Whatever it is, whoever it is, it's not only comforting during crises like these, but (at least for me) necessary.

I've never been very religious. I'm still not sure what I believe in - angels, spirits, some God? Whoever you are - please fix her. Make me believe, I need something to believe in.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

'Cuz you're a New York City boy (girl)...


Often, very often, I have dreams of being back in New York. The dreamed New York isn't actually like the real New York at all, but in its own crazy place in my sleeping mind, it is.

I miss it. I sometimes wonder if I will ever end up there again.

Monday, January 30, 2012

Moisturizing Happiness


This is coming from a girl who, on a daily basis wears eyeliner and SPF and considers her face complete, and a girl who HATES orange and brown smears on necklines when trying on clothes - but I'm totally loving tinted moisturizers. Sure, it's only my first day wearing it and I really haven't checked a mirror since leaving the house, but my skin feels moisturized and not at all like I'm wearing face makeup. I really hate foundations and concealers and powders and such. I can actually tolerate a powder foundation - I own the Chanel one but haven't made much of a dent in it since I bought it in 2009 - but straight up foundations feel like really serious makeup. Like, where you need actual tools to apply it. I like to keep it real with my makeup and beauty routines. No fuss. I don't keep up with all the newest beauty fads and basically just follow the same simple routine everyday with tried and true drugstore products. But I had been reading a lot recently about how not only does foundation create a nice, even appearance, but it protects your face from "the elements". I don't really know what that means, to tell you the truth, but I do care for my skin, even if I don't spend much time or money on it. So I looked into foundation options and tinted moisturizer seemed best for me since it's still mostly a moisturizer with some color thrown in to even out skin tone. Sounds good, yeah?

After some online research, off to Sephora I went. I'm usually completely lost when I go into Sephora, drugstores, or any makeup counter. I don't know what I need, what colors look good on me (am I a warm or a cool? I will never know), and which products are best. But this time I had read about Maria Duenas Jacobs' easy and natural makeup routine on Into The Gloss, and was after the Dior Hydralife Tinted Moisturizer. It was $40 and only come in three numbered shades, but had SPF which is a huge plus for an anti-light vampire like myself. I went for the 2 and applied it to half of my face with one of those sponges at those mini mirror stations. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but I was surprised at how much I liked it. It was so easy to apply, blended right in, and looked natural. What more could I ask for?

However, while in line to pay, I noticed the Laura Mercier travel size for only $20. The smaller sizer came in only two colors - nude and sand. Since it was half the price and I wasn't a complete convert to this whole new tinted moisturizer thing, I figured it would be better to get a smaller size first. So I went and tried on the LM in sand and honestly, both the Dior and the Laura felt nearly identical, with maybe a little more coverage on the Laura. The colors were pretty similar, and they both felt nice and light on my skin. Not make-uppy at all!

In the end, I went for the Laura Mercier because it was cheaper and I thought Laura Mercier had a better reputation for her skincare than Dior, and I was right. The Laura Mercier Tinted Moisturizer has won several beauty awards and has tons of glowing reviews on MakeupAlley, Sephora, and other sites. The criticizers say it's oily or too yellow (am I yellow?), but I loved it in store and it's held up wonderfully on my dry skin so far. It doesn't cover my freckles or look too flawless, so it's perfect. I find the biggest benefits to be the SPF20 and the fact that it evens out the uneven skin tone I've acquired from wearing sunglasses. Could it be? Me, someone who is always paranoid that skin makeup will smudge onto my clothes and sunglasses, someone who likes to touch her face more often than a normal person should, enjoying a form of makeup that I must smear all over my face like softened, room-temperature butter? Yes, yes it could be. And is!

Tuesday, January 03, 2012

Holiday Treats


After two blissful weeks of doing absolutely nothing, my holiday break came to an official end today. Waking up before 1p was actually not the impossible task I imagined it to be. Maybe it's because when I fall asleep knowing I have to wake up early the next day, I don't allow myself to fall into a deep slumber. Whatever the reason, rising before 1p from a bedtime of 3 to 4am proved to be a success.

The break began on the 15th with the WhoWhatWear holiday party at The Churchill. I had received a possible employment opportunity and had just discovered Revlon's Lip Butters in Pink Truffle and was in swell spirits. As was the tradition with holiday parties I had been to in the past, I was expecting food, but instead was surprised and a bit dismayed at the lack of even hors d'oeuvres. The disappointment of delicious sustenance quickly faded as one of the assistants encouraged us to fill up on the open bar. I was wearing what has become my easiest and least creative uniform - severe monochromatic black (superstitious Asian mother would strongly oppose) - and the combination of 5"+ platforms and just a wee bit of champagne nearly caused me a broken face as I left the party. All was good in the end though, a couple other interns and I worked the guest list at a table and had some good conversation.

I had to drop off boyfriend at the airport to fly home for Christmas a few days later, so I was alone in my then-empty apartment the entirety of my first week off. I really didn't mind. There's something comforting and unusually satisfying about being around my things. I never said I wasn't materialistic. I don't see why it has to be a bad thing. Being near my things just gives me pleasure. There's really no good reason why.

Then came the nights of doing nothing until 4am. I love unproductive late nights. I always thought that if the world conducted business at night, I would be function a million times better. I can't even tell you what I did these nights because I honestly don't remember.

And before I knew it, it was Christmas and I was home. I was given gifts although I wasn't able to reciprocate. Someday, when I actually start making money doing something I actually enjoy! The only person I exchanged gifts was with boyfriend, whom received a masculine dark gray Clarisonic Mia to achieve that flawless, pore-free appearing skin he so desires. This plus some Kiehl's Mens Facial Fuel moisturizer. The man does not use lotion. How come they never have to? Ugh.

Anyway, then came my gift. I had a hunch for weeks before finding out what it was he got me. This was mostly based on comments and questions that led to... the Chloe Paraty bag! I'm staring at it on my bed as I write this, though I will probably return this one and get one at the actual Chloe store. He and I went together to Nordstrom to get the last one on their display. I didn't think of it then, but this display bag didn't come with the care booklet or authentication cards. Both aren't very important, but if he's going to spend that much, I'd like to get everything that comes with it just in case. But isn't it pretty? The black isn't the most luscious color, but it's so versatile (love the shoulder strap) and goes with most of my wardrobe perfectly. The one thing I was lacking in my wardrobe was a good, all around bag. I was debating between this and the Celine luggage shopper in the mini size but decided this was better because it has a zipper, shoulder strap, and overall looks best for my current style. I would of course love a Chanel jumbo or simply the 2.55, but it's still far too much. The Celine is still fantastic, however maybe just a tad bit mature for my look right now.

Boyfriend said the bag was a Christmas gift but also a reward for me "taking risks" with my career the past year (and now). Now whenever I'm feeling hopeless, I look at the bag and what it symbolizes, and am instantly re-energized.

And here's to 2012. Hope it's as good as the beginning of it has been.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Better

And here it is - the end of another year that has flown by in what seems like far less than 365 days. It's crazy to think it's been four years since I finished school and could have actually repeated college in the time since. When I think back to the first half of my 20s, it's all very blurry. I attribute this to working jobs that were unfulfilling (blogger says this is not a word, but I'm keeping it. You understand, yes?) and that left me frustrated and unappreciated. Each morning began with dreadful emotions and contemplations of calling in sick. As the day passed, my time was spent doing a mixture of several things: work (but of course), visiting the usual blogs, counting down the clock until 5:30, pug picture research, plans for the weekend, lunch, and the number of days until the next paycheck. Now at 26, much poorer and financially unstable than I was even just a year ago, I am interestingly more satisfied with my life than I was in my early 20s. Although I still fight with this often, I do feel it's true when they say certain sacrifices are worthy of all the troubles endured to get where you want to be.

I'm not participating in Christmas this year. Post-KCD, I returned to California and am residing in the same apartment I left to go to New York. Before leaving, I set up an interview with WhoWhatWear for an internship and interviewed immediately upon my return. A month later, I started work as an editorial intern in the most stylish office I've ever held employment - unpaid or otherwise. And so it goes without saying that as with most internships, this internship is unpaid -- leaving me with very little cash to do any kind of shopping. I'm strangely okay with this, maybe partially due to the fact that Christmas shopping can be so stressful. I only have one gift to worry about this year, and that's boyfriend's.

An unexpected benefit to being a broke intern is that it forces me to be creative with what I already own in my closet. Since I cannot easily go out and purchase the newest and hottest trend, I must repeat existing clothing pieces in new and different ways to prevent those paranoid thoughts of "Oh she's wearing that again? Doesn't she have any other clothes?" I used to do this when I was younger (with less dough), but once I started making my own money, I felt there were so many new items to be had and didn't bother wearing each dress/shirt/skirt in more than one or two ways. Each piece would be relegated to the back of the closet when it was replaced by another quick, of-the-moment item. So even though there are the obvious drawbacks, there is some light in my state of financial suffering.

I'm finding pleasure in the things I've long taken for granted. I don't know where this revival comes from, but I'm grateful for it.

Thursday, December 01, 2011

Sex and the City


I've posted one of Candace Bushnell's quotes before, and today found myself thinking back to it again. I looked it up and was led to an Elle Decor story on her Greenwich Village Manhattan apartment. I loved the supposed story behind it so much I thought I'd share a piece of it here, even if it may be old:

I'm the kind of person who would have liked to have lived at the Plaza. I love crystal chandeliers and gold leaf, velvets and mirrors, Oriental rugs and marble. I love things that are old and glittery, that come with layers of glamour and past lives. So the moment my husband and I walked into our apartment for the first time nearly two years ago, we knew that this was it.

Built in the 1920s, reputedly as bachelor pads for well-heeled young men who were making their fortunes on Wall Street, the apartments in this Greenwich Village building had sunken living rooms, woodburning fireplaces, 11-foot ceilings, and arched windows (some even had “Juliet balconies” from which, I imagine, the bachelors could yell down to their friends on the street). Back in the 1920s, I suppose the building was considered to have every modern convenience, as there were servants’ quarters on the top floor, and, in the basement, extensive kitchens from which the young men could order dinner which was sent up in a dumbwaiter. It was all very Jeeves & Wooster, reeking of late-night parties and illicit affairs, bathtub gin and jazz. To this day a house rule exists that no musical instruments are to be played after 8 P.M.

You can read the rest of the story and see more photos here.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Change

I know, I know. I'm thinking of changing this blog from mainly fashion to just a general "me" blog. I think I could post more often and more personal stories. It's not like I publish this blog anywhere or anything, so those who do read it are most likely people I know in offline world. I was just thinking about when I had a Xanga account way back in the day, and I enjoy rereading those entries written by an 18-year-old me moreso than ones that are completely materialistic...

We shall see.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Tumblr


In addition to this blog, you can also visit my Tumblr and MadelineChalaban.tumblr.com. It's new and needs help with its design, but you can still read the posts. They kind of come from all over the place - not so fashion-focused as this one.

Enjoy!

P.S. I am interning at WhoWhatWear now, trying to find my way in the fashion world. I need to find it soon!

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Home


Hello blue skies, palm trees, and driving. I'm home.

Was it all just a dream?

Monday, September 19, 2011

An Exhilarating End


The end is near! To be clear, my internship-turned-freelance position is officially over, and my time in New York ends on September 30th. I'm in LA right now, but am headed back to the east tomorrow.

Fashion week/month was exhausting, but a experience that will probably never be replicated in my life again. The days leading up to and during NYFW were characterized by endless hours, stress, and a few pounds lost (back by now, I'm sure). My favorite part? Seeing the shows. I'd seen shows before, but I never thought I'd see one with guests such as Valentino, Oscar De La Renta, Anna Wintour, and every other big name editor I've only ever seen online and in magazines. The Victoria Beckham show turned out well, but was actually not the best morning for me. I was stressed out by last minute seating changes and felt that the check in process was a mess. It was the morning of the tenth anniversary of 9/11, and check-in was punctuated by moments of silence. Many incoming guests did not know this, however, and continued to talk to us over these silences. But in the end, it was all worth it. Something I realized from my six month stint though? PR is not for me. I just don't find it interesting enough. I love clothing, but not necessarily getting press for the clothing and designers.

What does my future hold? At least career-wise? I'm not sure. It scares me when I think about it, but right now I'm focused on enjoying my last two weeks in NYC. I really need to take more pictures. And incorporate more colors into my wardrobe.

Sunday, September 04, 2011

The Home Stretch


The office at sunset

It's here. Five months have flown by and it's now the last month of my time here in NYC. Hard to believe it's been nearly half a year already, and that I will be done in no time. Starting tomorrow, I will be working a continuous ten days straight in preparation for fashion week. The Victoria Beckham show is on Sunday, 9/11 at 10AM at the New York Public Library. That will be fun to get to. And after the 15th, my time at KCD is done.

Until then, it's all work. The past couple of weeks have been a blur of editor names, photographers, socialites, celebrities, and anyone else deemed important enough to attend any of the great shows KCD manages. Lots of requests, seating, and invitations. All day into the night. There have also been a slew of models in and out of the office for casting. At 6 feet tall with legs coming out of their noses, it makes me think twice about gobbling down that sweet and delicious Billy's cupcake (but then I think thrice and shove it down my throat). There have been plenty of pretty and not-so-pretty male models in as well. How do these boys find girlfriends? Not sure I could go out with a boy who is much prettier than I ever could be.

That's the Victoria Beckham show invitation above (duh). Those who have seen it think it's so classy and sophisticated, and it IS, except that I think it would have been better with some bolder colors instead of a sort of drab grey. But I'm sure the Victoria team has their reasons. I shouldn't question the Posh.

I've been stocking up on black ensembles for the shows. We're only allowed to wear black, and not even exciting black. No bedazzled black dresses or slutty ones you'd wear to the club. Basic black. Not that I was planning to wear any crazy extravagant black outfits anyway.

So tomorrow it continues. And by the time I have time to blog again, it will be over. I may even be back in Los Angeles. It scares me a little.

Anywho, here's to a great NYFW.

P.S. I hope Victoria Beckham is cool. I'm so excited to work with her. I bet I'll look like a whale next to her skinny little ass though.