Dizzy

I had a more personal blog when I was 18, and I just revisited it. Reading it again made me realize how much I've changed, and not necessarily for the better. Sure, I have changed for the better in some ways, but in other ways I think I've lost myself a bit. I think I do less thinking now. And I really do feel like this daily routine of work has killed something in me. Is that strange? Does that even make sense? I used to be a lot more thoughtful. More girlish. I'd sit around and analyze things and wonder about my future a lot more. My friends and I used to drive around at night at home and talk about when we'd get our first boyfriends. We'd go to parks at night and as corny as it may seem, all the stars would be out and we'd talk about girly things, first kisses, boyfriends, etc. Now that I'm older and been in relationships almost 6 years straight (!), I may have lost sight of things that made me me. I used to write in journals. Now, never. I leave work at 5:30 everyday, but I still let it dominate after hours. It really does consume me.

R Kells is busy this week so I have the weekdays free. It's actually perfect because I need this time to focus on ME, and forget about all the other junk that's clogged up my life. It sounds like something typical girls would say at the end of relationships, but I'm still in one, and it really is necessary.

...Does LA even have stars? As in the sparkly things in the sky, not celebrities.